


Life On The Road

by SaintOfLosAngeles



Category: Mötley Crüe, The Dirt (2019), The Dirt: Confessions of the World's Most Notorious Rock Band Book - Mötley Crüe & Neil Strauss
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Smut, loads of gay love, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-13
Updated: 2019-06-13
Packaged: 2020-05-07 05:37:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19202971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaintOfLosAngeles/pseuds/SaintOfLosAngeles
Summary: Sixx AM’s tour schedule is brutal, and Nikki is exhausted both mentally and physically. He hasn’t seen Tommy and a month and the homesickness is beginning to overwhelm him.Tommy knows Nikki needs him.





	Life On The Road

**Author's Note:**

> Wow I hope this isn’t a complete dumpster fire. First time writing smut like this HELLOOOOOO. Idk how I feel about this fic especially compared to my other one, but it is what it is. Reviews are oh so appreciated.

This tour was going to kill him.

Tommy had been on tour most of his adult life and it had always been hard. He had known he was beyond lucky to be living his dream, and having a life that many people only dream of, but that didn’t mean it was always easy. For those months of your life, you live for the audience. It didn’t matter if you were tired, or having a bad day, you still went out and put a smile on your face and played your heart out for the kids that spend time and money to come see you give it your all.

Tommy had been on tours that had lasted longer than a year. He had been on tours while partying every night, he had been on tour when he had been struggling to hide his feelings for Nikki, when he felt like any second he was going to break down, kiss Nikki, and ruin everything everyone had worked so hard for. 

He had been on some tough tours, but this has been the hardest one yet, and he isn’t even the one on the road.

Tommy rolled over in bed, eyes falling on the empty spot beside him where his lover normally lay. The bed felt more like a sinking void these days than a place to relax. It had officially been over a month since he had seen Nikki. 32 days. The longest he had gone without seeing his lover in almost 30 years. There have been gaps due to touring and commitments before, even during their particularly nasty fights, but never this long.

There was only so much text messaging and FaceTiming that Tommy could do without feeling Nik’s arms around him. There was only so many times he could jack off to Nikki’s voice on the phone before it became not enough.

Tommy groaned and rolled himself out of bed with a grunt. Looking up at the clock, he sighed. 6 in the morning. When Nikki was home, Tommy could spend all day in bed, just lounging, sleeping in, listening to Nikki’s deep breathing as the bassist slept. It was one of the most relaxing things in Tommy's world. But with Nikki gone, his nervous energy wouldn’t let him sleep longer than a few hours at a time, and never past seven in the morning. 

Tommy had struggled with his attraction to Nikki for several years before their relationship had begun. Having only dated exclusively women, he was initially terrified at the idea of his blossoming feelings for another man. Tommy felt his feelings went against his natural instincts, he had been all about women, all the time. His feelings for Nikki seemed to strike out of nowhere and outweighed any feelings that he had ever felt for any other human. Looking back now, Tommy couldn’t help but chuckle at his past self’s reluctance, the thought of being with anyone else now seeming unnatural. Tommy knew would never still be with anyone else, almost 30 years later.

Tommy normally never could have held out 32 days without breaking down and going to see Nikki, but with Sixx A.M.’s constant performance schedule, and press appearances, interviews, and meet and greets in between every one, there wasn’t enough time in a day for Tommy to be able to see his lover. They had pushed too much together into too short of an amount of time, in an effort to reduce the length of the actual tour. Tommy had been thrilled about the idea of a shortened tour at first, but now he wasn’t so sure.

Tommy walked to the fridge, needing something to get rid of the dry mouth he was struggling with. Taking a sip out of a water bottle, he eyed the schedule posted on the fridge with a magnet. Nikki had a show today, a big magazine interview tomorrow, then had to hit the road immediately for yet another concert the following day. Tommy frowned, he was desperate to see Nikki, but this schedule made it fucking impossible. The band had a two day break in 3 weeks, but how the fuck could he wait that long, dude? That’s another 21 days, in addition to the 32 Tommy had already struggled through. 

Maybe he was acting like a child, but Tommy had never claimed to be mature. Nikki was his weak spot in every way, just the same as he was his strength, and Tommy wasn’t ashamed to admit he would do just about anything to see Nikki for an hour right about now.

No, Tommy definitely never claimed to be mature, but he was nothing if he wasn’t a determined motherfucker. Right now he needed Nikki, and deep down he had a feeling that part of the reason for that was that Nikki needed him too. Nikki had told him last night during their nightly phone call how exhausted he was, how he was lonely without Tommy and more than a little homesick. Nikki was strong, but there was a point in which strength becomes a weakness, and Nikki has a habit of riding that line, of being strong for everyone else for too long, and Nikki is always the one that suffers for it.

Tommy’s ‘Nikki senses’ were tingling, and if the bassist needed him, Tommy was going to use that determined nature of his to get himself to Nikki.

Tommy headed back into his bedroom with a smirk on his face. He had some calls to make.

——

Nikki sat in his dressing room staring at himself in the mirror. Every tour he did, about halfway through he told himself it would be the last one he ever did. Nikki loved everything about performing. He loved the vibration of the stage under his feet, the screams of people that drove miles and miles just to see him do what he loved to do. Nikki knew that this was his calling in life- the only career path that could ever give him true happiness. That didn’t mean it didn’t have it’s challenges.

It wasn’t performing that got to Nikki, it was the road. It was being in his tour bus, alone. It was being exhausted after a concert- he wasn’t 25 anymore and he had no illicit substances to keep him going- and popping some food in the microwave, alone. Every time Nikki got into the shower, trying to relieve some of the soreness of his tired muscles, he was all too aware of the lack of arms wrapping around him from behind, and the nose burying itself into his neck as his lover pushed his body as close to Nikki’s as he possibly could under the warm water.

Nikki smiled at the thought. Tommy never could get close enough to Nikki to satisfy himself. Always the clingy one, and Nikki could only pretend to be annoyed with it for the first year of their relationship, which was almost a lifetime ago now. Maybe it was a learning curve for Nikki. The Nikki he was back then would have never believed that he could ever love and be loved in the way that he and Tommy love each other. That Nikki was all about self-preservation. He lived by rules and codes. Have lots of ‘friends’, but trust no one. Drown that depression in whatever substance was on hand at the moment, never accept it, never feel it. He never could believe that anyone could breech the shield he protected himself with.

But Tommy was always the exception to every rule he had. Tommy gave him a reason to try, to be sober, and to take care of himself. Everything in him wanted to take care of Tommy, but to do that he had to pick himself up out of the pit he had buried himself in.

Nikki was pulled out of his thoughts by a booming knock on his dressing room door.

“Nik! We’re on in 15 man.” 

“Yeah, I’ll be right out” he called back to his singer. He was beyond grateful for his band mates, they were dear friends, but they could never take the place of his one constant of 30 years. Through all the women they saw, and on a few occasions, married, for appearances sake, through all the drugs and drinking and near death experiences they had both encountered during their younger years, the only thing that stayed the same was his Tommy.

When he went through the hell that came with heroin withdrawals, Tommy was there. If he hadn’t had Tommy, he likely would have laid in his own vomit for days. When Tommy’s publicity-stunt-gone-wrong of a wife had him thrown in jail, Nikki was there, behind the plexiglass window everyday, begging Tommy to be strong and not lose hope. 

It was always fucking Tommy. He was there for the lowest lows, when Nikki didn’t know if he had the strength to breathe another breath, and he was there for the highest highs, when their dreams became reality and all their hard work came to fruition in the form of tens of thousands of screaming fans.

So really, how could he have not fallen for Tommy? 

And here on the road, there was no Tommy to lean on. At least in a physical sense. Nikki knew Tommy would pick up every time he called, he would drop everything for a FaceTime call, but there was so much Nikki couldn’t do over the phone.

He couldn’t bury his nose in Tommy’s neck, breathe in the scent that has calmed his nerves and soothed his anxiety for three decades. He couldn’t run his hands over Tommy’s bare chest while they lay tangled up in each other after making love. He couldn’t smell Tommy’s cooking while he sat on the counter and watched the man cook. He couldn’t spend hours laying on the couch with Tommy, just watching TV and tracing each other’s tattoos. He couldn’t pretend to be pissed when Tommy would drag him out to the pool when a rainstorm hit. Tommy loved swimming in the rain. 

It all sounded so domestic. Nikki couldn’t pinpoint when he started living his life for the security that Tommy brought him, but it had happened a long time ago, probably before Nikki even consciously knew it.

Nikki missed him more than anything, his thoughts completely taken over by the beautiful man, but for now, he knew had a show to do. He had a band to help lead and a crowd to entertain. Nikki fluffed his hair one last time, and headed out the door, grabbing his bass as he went.

 

——-

The show went great honestly. The crowd was so into the performance and Nikki didn’t miss a beat all night. He loved performances like this one, but he was so tired. The adrenaline was wearing off. His muscles ached with a need to relax, and his heart ached to call his lover and see what the younger man was up to.

As soon as Nikki trudged his way onto his tour bus, exhaustion written all over his features, he stopped in his tracks as he saw a figure sitting on the couch. No one ever came onto his tour bus without his permission first.

Nikki swore his heart froze in his chest when he saw the tall, lanky, tattooed figure that he had only managed to see in his dreams and through a phone screen for over a month now.

“Surprise?” 

Nikki stared at Tommy with an open jaw. He took in the sight of the man that he had been missing so much, standing there looking as fucking beautiful as ever, and suddenly he couldn’t get words out. His heart felt like it was bursting at the seams with joy, but in that moment he had no idea how to communicate it. What the hell was wrong with him? Why couldn’t he speak? He hadn’t had that problem in years. Why was he being such a little bitch? It has only been a month, Sixx, not a year, keep it together. Nope, his throat was closing up anyway. Fuck.

Luckily for him, Tommy knew. Tommy knew Nikki like the back of his hand, and heard the words in Nikki’s head as clearly as if he had managed to choke them out. Tommy’s blinding smile sent a shockwave through Nikki’s chest, and just like that, the homesickness was long gone.

Nikki opened his arms, his feet refusing to move, sniffling as Tommy bounded into them, throwing his long arms around Nikki’s neck. Feeling that familiar weight in his arms soothed the aching in Nikki’s heart, and his eyes burned harder as Tommy cradled his head against his chest. How did Tommy manage to do this every time? No one else could turn him into a sniffling bitch but him. Nikki fisted the fabric of the back of Tommy’s shirt, and pressed a kiss to his neck.

“What the fuck, Tommy?” 

Not the most romantic choice of words, but they were the only ones Nikki could force out of his throat at the moment. He felt like his emotions were choking him. Tommy’s grip was bone crushing, yet somehow he still managed to hold Nikki like he was the most precious thing in this world. This tour had taken such a toll on Nikki, mentally and physically, and he had no idea how much he truly needed this until now. To have this piece of normalcy, of his everyday life here with him.

Tommy laughed and Nikki could feel the vibrations against his chest as he did, and it was a beautiful feeling. It was grounding to the bassist. This was real. Tommy was here, and he could finally, finally, let his guard down.

Nikki felt Tommy pull back just enough to look Nikki in his eyes, and place his palms on the sides of Nikki’s face. 

“32 days about killed me, Nik-Nok. Just couldn’t make it to 33.” Tommy tilted his head forward, touching his forehead to his lover’s gently. “And that fucking magazine interview is canceled for tomorrow.”

That took Nikki by surprise. “How did you manage that?”

Tommy ducked his head and grinned. “May have called them and convinced them I was your manager?” Nikki shook his head, but couldn’t help but grin at the drummer. That was the Tommy he fell in love with. He always had a way to get what he wanted, Nikki himself was proof enough of that. “They were kinda pissed at first, but they were so desperate for an interview with the great Nikki Sixx that they agreed to a phone interview- next week.”

Tommy was grinning ear to ear, clearly proud of himself. And Nikki couldn’t deny, he was pretty proud too. That smile could melt just about anyone’s heart. He loved this man with every ounce of himself. Every molecule, every atom of Nikki’s body had Tommy’s initials carved into them at this point, Nikki was sure.

“I missed you so fucking much, T-bone, you have no fucking idea..” 

Nikki felt passion take over his body and he fisted the front of Tommy’s shirt and yanked him into a bruising kiss. Tommy growled out a sound that almost sounded feral to Nikki as he felt Tommy walking them backwards, never breaking the kiss. Nikki let out a grunt as his back hit the wall, and Tommy took full advantage, tangling their tongues together and grinding his hips against Nikki’s.

Nikki was beginning to feel lightheaded from the desire pooling in his lower stomach. They had been in his position so many times, yet it never stopped feeling new to Nikki. Tommy’s teeth nipping at his lip; Tommy’s hands grabbing his ass, pulling him closer and grinding their clothed, but already hard cocks together; Tommy’s breath hitching when he returned the gesture. Why did they still have their clothes on, again? Nikki wasn’t sure, but it was a tragedy, really.

“I fucking missed you too, Nik.” Tommy's voice pulled Nikki back from his thoughts.

Tommy lowered his head to nip at Nikki’s pulse point on his neck, smiling into the bassist’s skin when he felt Nikki jump at the sudden contact of teeth on sensitive flesh.

“Yeah?” Nikki smirked, pulling back to look into Tommy’s chocolate eyes. “Show me exactly how much you fucking missed me, T-bone.”

Tommy’s eyes lit up at that challenge, and he laced his fingers with Nikki’s all but dragging him to the bedroom of the tour bus, determination on his face while Nikki chuckled the whole way, pleased with the direction this was heading.

Nikki plopped down on the bed, looking up at Tommy with complete trust in his eyes. Nikki was going to let Tommy run the show tonight, do whatever the drummer wanted him to do, because after being a leader and mentor every hour of every day this past month, relinquishing control was a release for Nikki. Nikki wasn’t sure what to expect, you never knew with Tommy, but he was ready for whatever the drummer threw at him tonight.

Some days they fucked, raw and desperate. Tommy would pull Nikki’s hair and Nikki would claw Tommy’s back until blood gathered under his fingernails. All that could be heard in the room during those times were primal grunts, the frantic slapping of skin against skin. Occasionally Tommy would ask Nikki who he belonged to, and have to fight off his orgasm when Nikki would reply, “I’m all fucking yours, Tommy.”

Some days they made love, sweet and tender. Nikki whispering in Tommy's ear that he saved Nikki's life, how he would be dead without him, and Tommy whispering back that Nikki was his whole world. They never closed their eyes during these times, instead pushing their foreheads together, eyes never straying from each other’s, the adoration shining in each other’s eyes pushing them closer to the edge, but never looking away, even as their orgasms overtook them.

This part of himself he had never given to another man. He first gave himself to Tommy almost 30 years ago, and had never stopped since. Through the marriages to women, through the fights that they had both as a couple and as a band, they never could seem to give this intimacy up. Nikki felt truly at peace laying with Tommy, feeling a part of Tommy inside of him, and occasionally burying a part of himself inside Tommy. Two bodies becoming one, intertwining in a way that their souls had always been since day one. They never could stay away from each other, and Nikki knew that was what the universe had intended for the two of them.

Nikki looked up from his seated position on the bed, eyes meeting Tommy’s from under his bangs, as the drummer stepped forward in between Nikki’s spread legs, bending down to place a kiss on his waiting lips. Nikki felt himself gently being pushed backwards, and he allowed himself to be laid down on the bed, Tommy climbing on top of him to straddle him.

Nikki couldn’t help the groan that passed through his lips when Tommy placed wet kisses on his neck, the occasional flick of the tongue and nip of his teeth enough to drive Nikki to madness. Nikki felt Tommy’s hands playing with the hem of his shirt, pushing under it to caress the soft skin underneath, before pulling it off of the bassist, completely, before removing his own shirt as well.

Nikki looked up at the shirtless man above him. Tommy’s eyes were wild with lust, his hair sticking up in crazy directions from Nikki’s hands running through it and tugging on it, and his chest heaved with his deep breaths. Every time they did this Nikki thought Tommy got more gorgeous every time. There was a dangerous beauty about him that could captivate every cell in Nikki’s body. 

“You’re so fucking beautiful, Nikki. So beautiful.” Tommy rasped out, and Nikki smiled at their similar trains of thought.

Nikki was growing impatient. He had waited a month for this and Tommy seemed to be taking his sweet time, rubbing his hands over every inch of Nikki’s skin he could reach, and with every featherlight touch to his skin, Nikki’s impatience grew. Every gentle press of lips to skin made his body crave more.

Nikki reached for the button on Tommy’s jeans, determined to taste and touch what he had been craving since the moment they started this, when a hand on his wrist stopped his movement.

“Not tonight Nikki.” Tommy placed a hand on the side of Nikki’s face, looking deep into his eyes. “You always take care of everyone else Nik. That’s all you’ve done this entire month. You’ve worn yourself out.”

Nikki tried to swallow around the lump in his throat as he heard his lover whisper in his ear, “Tonight I want to show you that there’s someone out there who wants to take care of you.”

Nikki could feel his pulse in his cock, his temples, his feet. He felt like his heart was about to pound out of his body as Tommy worked his pants off after removing his own, smiling to himself at the effect he was having on the older man. It had been too long for Nikki. Every move Tommy made had Nikki squirming, his cock pulsing with a demand only Tommy had ever been able to truly satisfy.

Nikki heard the sound of a cap popping open. When and where did Tommy even get lube? Didn’t matter.

Nikki felt a finger against his entrance and forced his wired body to try to relax. The familiar burn of Tommy’s long finger pushing into him had him writhing on the bed, trying to push his body down to take more. It had only been a month, but in the moment it felt like years since Nikki had felt this kind of intimacy with the man he loved, and he craved more.

He heard Tommy chuckle. “Impatient, baby?”

Nikki couldn’t answer with words, so he just simply grunted back at Tommy, and shut his eyes, focusing on the feeling of Tommy adding a second finger to join the first inside of him.

Suddenly, Nikki felt a wet heat close itself around his cock, and he felt fire spread through his veins. He had his eyes closed and hadn’t seen the sudden warmth coming, and had Nikki been younger and inexperienced he knew he wouldn’t have been able to hold back his orgasm.

Between Tommy’s talented tongue and those long fingers of his curling and thrusting inside him, Nikki could feel the pleasure start to blind him. His fingers were fisting the bedsheets- or was that Tommy’s hair? Nikki swore he couldn’t even tell anymore, he was almost there, thrusting up into Tommy’s mouth involuntarily as he murmured the drummer’s name in his ecstasy.

It was almost enough, he was almost there, to the height of his pleasure when Tommy pulled his mouth off of his cock, the loud popping sound seeming to taunt Nikki. Tommy pulled his fingers out as well, and Nikki swore he could have cried.

Nikki looked up into Tommy’s brown eyes that shone with so much love and lust Nikki never wanted to look away. Tommy’s eyes always had a way of making him feel beautiful in these moments.

“What do you want Nik?” Tommy asked, eyes never leaving Nikki’s.

“Fuck me, Tommy, please-“

Nikki could barely get the words out before Tommy was climbing on top of him, pouring more lube onto Nikki’s cock. Nikki moaned at the sudden cold, cock twitching with desire as Tommy ground his own cock against Nikki’s.

Nikki thrust against the sudden friction, threading his fingers through Tommy’s as Tommy ground their cocks together until both were covered in lube.

As soon as the friction started, it ended, and Nikki felt Tommy pushing against his entrance, the familiar burn of pleasure over taking Nikki as Tommy bottomed out inside of him.

Nikki vaguely heard his own voice muttering a mixture of curse words and variations of Tommy’s name over the pounding in his ears. He no longer had control of his own voice, it was muttering out words on its own accord. His world had narrowed down to just Tommy. 

Nikki felt a soft kiss being pressed to his lips, and he used all of his remaining muscle control to press a hand against Tommy’s cheek, kissing the drummer back gently, savoring the tender caress of his lover’s lips. 

“I missed you, baby. I missed this so much.” Tommy murmured against the bassist’s lips. “I love you.”

Nikki opened his mouth to respond, but all that came out was a deep moan as Tommy began to slowly thrust into him.

Nikki couldn’t help but stare at Tommy as he moved in and out of his body. Tommy’s hair was sticking to his face, in front of his eyes, a thin layer of sweat covering his body, eyebrows furrowed together. He looked wild, the kind of wild that Nikki had chased in drugs and danger for so long, and had somehow managed to find in this perfect human.

Nikki could tell Tommy was holding himself back, trying to go slow for Nikki’s sake, considering they hadn’t had sex in over a month, but Nikki was ready. He needed this.

“Tommy-“ Nikki managed to gasp out. He wanted to tell the drummer that he was okay, to go faster, but his words evaded him once again. His voice was silenced by the overwhelming emotions and pleasure of having Tommy in this intimate way once again.

Tommy looked at him and grinned. He knew Nikki so well, knew exactly what Nikki was trying to tell him, and began thrusting harder into the bassist, throwing his head back and crying out Nikki’s name as the sound of skin slapping against skin echoed through the tour bus.

Nikki swore he could see stars as Tommy hit that special spot in him with ease, years of practice making it easy for the drummer to find, and he felt white hot pleasure course through his body, from his head to his toes.

Tommy was getting close, the heat of Nikki’s body and those adoring eyes too much to handle, and the drummer reached down to grab Nikki’s leaking erection, jerking him in time with his thrusts.

“Fuck- Tommy, I-“ Nikki didn’t have much warning as his back arched off of the bed and his climax overtook him, gripping the bedsheets hard enough to turn his knuckles white as he coated Tommy’s hand and his stomach.

A few more thrusts and the feeling of Nikki tightening around his cock with his orgasm was all it took for Tommy, as he too was pushed over the edge, coming hard and deep into his lover and best friend, breath catching in his throat as he let out a strangled cry.

Tommy collapsed on top of Nikki, struggling to regain his breath, but unable to stop himself from littering the bassist’s tattooed chest with butterfly kisses.

“Thank you, Tom.”

Tommy looked up at Nikki, a confused look warping his features.

“You don’t have to thank me for sex baby, trust me, it’s my pleasure.” Tommy smirked while gently pulling himself out of the bassist, scooting up on bed to curl around Nikki’s body, and place his head on Nikki’s chest.

“Shut up, T-bone” Nikki chuckled. “I really needed this.” 

“I know you did, Nik.” Tommy reached down and pulled the covers over their bodies, before grabbing Nikki’s hand, intertwining their fingers where they rested on Nikki’s stomach under the blanket.

Nikki felt his heart clench a little at his lover’s words. Tommy always fucking knew when Nikki needed him, somehow. He knew in 1983 when Deana called and flipped Nikki’s world from happy to dark in a single phone message, he knew in 1987 when Sikki was running around with a gun and a crazed look in his eye, he knew today when Nikki’s anxiety was becoming too much to handle with the stresses of the road. Nikki didn’t know how to explain how Tommy always knew, but he realized it went both ways. He would always be there for Tommy, that was a promise he made to the drummer and to himself a long time ago.

Nikki pressed a kiss to the crown of Tommy’s head as he looked down at the drummer, smiling to find the younger man asleep on his chest, his mouth open slightly as he breathed in, deep and steady. Nikki knew that in a couple of days, Tommy would have to say goodbye and it would be hard. But maybe tonight would be enough to carry him these next three weeks until his next break.

Nikki reached over with his free arm and grabbed his jeans off of the side of the bed where they laid, discarded and forgotten about and pulled his cell phone out of his pocket. He normally was not one for selfies, but he wanted to remember this moment a week from now, when his heart was heavy and missing his soul mate’s.

Throwing the phone to the side once it’s task was complete, Nikki closed his eyes and felt himself start to drift off to sleep immediately, Tommy’s body heat warming him and his deep breaths soothing. Even in his sleep, Nikki couldn’t help but smile.

Tour life is hard, but when you have people in your life that go out of their way to make it easier, it’s survivable. Nikki made a quiet promise to himself to never forget his luck, never take the man in his arms and his love for granted, and allowed himself to drift off.

**Author's Note:**

> Well there you go. I’ve been working on this for a good while now. Not sure how to end it, if it was too cheesy, but in the end I decided to just go for it! Our Terrorcest readers need content! LMAO. Thank you so much for taking the time to read my story. It means the world and more to my lil heart.


End file.
